Being in a loving relationship is amazing and life changing!
Everyone deserves to find their true love and to feel loved in life. With that said, a good relationship also involves commitment and effort. A relationship is like a plant; you must water and nurture it in order for it to grow and bloom. You want a healthy, vibrant, flowering plant; not a wilted, lifeless vine! So today I am going to share a book with you that can help your relationship continue to develop and grow stronger.
The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman is a game changer. Dr. Chapman examines how individuals like to express love and be loved. He has classified the types of love into five categories, and they are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. If you read the book, he will explain in more detail what each one means (I don’t want to give everything away). Basically, out of the five types of love languages, everyone has one that is primary to them. It is how they perceive love and want it spoken to them.
There is a questionnaire in the book to help you ascertain your love language. The questions dig deep into your personal preferences. After completing the quiz, you will have identified your primary love language. In some instances, you might be bilingual and have two love languages that have equal value to you. That is okay! Knowing your primary love language(s) will significantly improve communication in the long run.
Why this book is so noteworthy is because you and your significant other might not perceive the feeling of being loved in the same way. Let me give an example from my own personal experience. My husband thought he was showing that he loved me by doing housework, chores, etc. While I am not complaining and was pleased that my husband would do these things, this was not my primary love language. In my husband’s mind, he thought he was showing me how much he loved me. It wasn’t until we read this book together that my husband learned that I prefer words of affirmation, and when I received them I felt loved. In return, I learned what my husband’s primary love language was as well. We both love each other very much, but we weren’t expressing it in a way that was significant to the other. Once we learned how each other perceived and expressed love, our relationship became better. We had fewer squabbles, we were more patient, understanding, and loving with each other. My husband speaks my love language to me, and I speak a different one to him.
Most partners do not speak the same love language as the other person. It is easy to forget that everyone responds to love and affection differently. It is human nature to think that someone would want the same love language spoken to them. However, a majority of times this is not the case! It will be eye opening to see what love language you and your partner speak. Once you find out and start expressing love in that way, your relationship will grow and flourish. You will have a better and deeper understanding of your partner’s needs and wants. Couples that can communicate effectively and truly understand one another are couples that go the distance. Life is filled with ups and downs, and you want to have a partner by your side who will lift you up and support you in difficult times. With the help of this book, your partner will be able to do just that!
Personally, my husband and I loved this book. It certainly improved our relationship for the better! I tell everyone I know about it; single, dating, married, divorced, whatever! I think it is important for any relationship to know how to communicate best with others. Dr. Chapman also has different versions for singles, parents, colleagues, etc. The message and principles in this book are solid and can improve any relationship. So I would recommend that you read The 5 Love Languages with your partner and discuss it as you go along. You might just be surprised by what you find out!